Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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