We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
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