I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize