It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
