covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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