his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
