I looked at my own cervix.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
