She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
What a dumb baby whore.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
