we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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