Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
