just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize