Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
