I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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