You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
