I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
