He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
