come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
