just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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