Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
third nipple confirmed
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
