no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
