Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose ass print is on the piano?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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