I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
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