She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
