When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
this beer tastes like vomit already
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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