All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
