i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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