Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
