Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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