don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
