Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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