I want to stick my p in your. b.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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