If that was your dad, he is hot
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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