Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize