sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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