I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
