And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
