I want to walk on stilts...naked
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
