So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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