I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize