I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
