I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
