so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
