You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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