my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
