i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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