And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
It was confusing and full of hummus
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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