this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
