it was like eating out sand paper
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
