Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
