Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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