Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
