last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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