Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
