Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
