just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
