He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
