I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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