Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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