it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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