Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
