you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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